


Chameleon

by wildfox



Series: Tumblr Based Prompts [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Blow Jobs, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 07:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12525896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfox/pseuds/wildfox
Summary: "I think I was jealous? I don't know, it's... It's weird. I never thought about another man as mine but——" There's a long pause, as if Jace isn't courageous enough to finish the sentence. "Alec's mine. He has always been, since we met. And now, well, now he isn't."





	Chameleon

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tumblr post: http://daddvrios.tumblr.com/post/164558889171  
> If you have any prompts you'd like to see as a short story, feel free to send it to me through the link above.  
> Enjoy!

Jace was used to reinventing himself. He did so when his father died, and then again when he found out the man was actually alive, and once more when he discovered that his father had never been his father after all. He reinvented himself when he was nine, and the Lewis family adopted him. He reinvented himself at nineteen, when he found out his girlfriend was actually his sister. Reinvented himself when her psychotic _actual_ brother tried to kill him, and when his biological grandmother tried to mold him into someone he wasn't. He liked to think that he was just very adaptable, that it was the reason why he was such a good police officer. Jonathan Christopher Herondale was a chameleon, and he prided himself in being an open-minded, laid back kind of man.

However, nothing in Jace's twenty-one years of living prepared him for the hurricane of a man that was Alexander Lightwood. Alec, three years his senior, was a force to be recon with: He was just starting out his career in law enforcement, but everyone in the precinct knew Alec would be captain one day. He was fierce, a broad and tall man that never backed down, always ready to fight for what was right and to plummet down whoever stood in the way. Still, he wasn't as reckless as Jace was, a level-header leader in situations where Jonathan himself lost control, and it was no surprise that the two connected the moment their eyes crossed for the first time, when Jace was only eighteen, at the Academy. Where Jace was an explosion of rage and fists and passion, Alec was a ruthless wave of righteousness, quick thinking and heart. Where Jace was the sun, hot and bright and glaring, Alec was the ocean: cooling and deadly and quiet.

They became roommates as soon as Jace was out of the Academy, the blond finding work in the same precinct as his friend, the duo working restlessly to right every wrong they could find. Despite being best friends and co-workers, it was odd how private they were about their lives; in the romantic sense, at least. After accidentally falling in love with his sister (even if they later found out she wasn't his sister, the damage was already done.), Jace knew better than to talk about his own love life—— There wasn't much to tell anyways, because he had drowned himself in work to forget about Clary and all the months he dedicated to a ruined relationship, except for maybe the one or two times he had fallen into Maia Roberts' bed. Alec didn't speak about his private life either, and Jace had been under the impression that it was as non-existent as his own.

That is, until one Saturday evening, when he came home from dinner with Clary to find Alec sprawled on the leather couch, with a strange man's face between his legs.

"Oh, shit." It was Jace's only reaction, lips parted in shock as he stared at the point where his roommate disappeared inside of the man's mouth. "I'm sorry, I—— I didn't mean to interrupt." He stammered out, heart pounding on his chest as both Alec and the man shot up from their positions. It wasn't a stranger, he soon realized, mismatched eyes falling on the man's glistening lips, his stomach recoiling as he noticed how red and plump they were. It wasn't a surprise to him that Magnus Bane, their Captain's loud secretary, was into men; he had made that pretty clear from day one, flirting with every single officer in the force, though Jace had never thought it was for real, always assuming Magnus did so because of the uncomfortable looks he got. Not from Alec, apparently, who was still painfully hard, standing up as he tried to shove his wet erection back into his pants, face flushed. Jace couldn't tell if it was because of remnants of arousal or out of shame. "Can... Can you not do that shit on the couch?" Jace asked as soon as he found his voice, golden eyebrows frowning. "I use that couch." And, with that, the blond man turned around, exiting the apartment with a large bang of the door.

* * *

 

Hunter's Moon was Jace's favorite bar. Not because the drinks were particularly good, but because it was cheap and just a few blocks away from his home. The fact that the bartender was a friend was also a plus—— One that didn't come until well after he started visiting the bar, but one nonetheless.

"I think I'm homophobic." Was his greeting to Maia, plopping himself down on the bar stool, a miserable look on his face.

"You don't get to drink here, then." Maia replied, a dark eyebrow raising as she looked at the man, pushing a large pint of beer his way. Jace doesn't even bother with commenting on it, simply picking up the glass and taking a large swig from it; he was used to Maia doing exactly the opposite of what she said, and the bitter taste helped him soothe his nerves for a moment. His mind flashed back the scene he had just witnessed, his stomach churning again; Magnus probably enjoyed the bitter taste of Alec's climax too, and just the idea of the man going down on his friend was enough to make him shudder.

"I never thought I was homophobic." He mumbled, eyes wide as he looked up at his friend. "My adoptive brother's gay. I don't care about that. Why do I suddenly care about Alec being gay?" Jace frowned, bringing the beer back to his lips. The answer seemed obvious, once he said the words out loud: Simon was his brother. He didn't see Jace as someone he'd like to pursue and they both knew it, even if the words had never been spoken. Alec, though? With Magnus? Jace couldn't finish his train of thought, the image from earlier once again flashing back to his head, to the pure ecstasy on Alec's face, his head thrown back and lips parted in a gasp, long fingers threading through Magnus' hair. Despite the cold beer, Jace felt his stomach warm up in revulsion once again.

"I pegged you for lots of things, Jonathan, but homophobic was never one of them. Asshole, sure. Egotistical, absolutely. Self-centered and annoying? Fr——"

"Oh God Maia, shut the fuck up." Jace asked, head banging against the wooden counter. Despite of the harsh words, his tone was almost a whine, turmoil dripping from every word. "I need to move out." He suddenly realized, hand grasping for his glass. It was empty already, and he couldn't remember ever drinking it. Pushing the empty glass back to the bartender, he nodded. "That's it, I'm moving out."

"The fact that Alec, your best friend in the whole world, is gay bothers you so much that you have to move out?" Maia asked, disbelief laced in her question as she stared at him with eyebrows raised. This time she didn't move to refill his glass, and Jace thought that maybe she was finally realizing that Jace wasn't just being his dramatic self. "What the _fuck_ , Herondale?"

Jace shook his head. "Alec deserves better than having a homophobic roommate, Roberts!" he whined. "I have to get the fuck out of the apartment."

"You're not wrong about that. He does not deserve any homophobes in his life. What doesn't add up, however, is why you, an alleged homophobe, would care about what he deserves." And, with that, the woman went back to refilling his glass. "What is it, do you think less of him now? Because you found out he likes men? That doesn't make sense, dude. Not for you."

"Of course I don't think any less of him." The blond shook his head, his tone outraged. "Alec is the best man I've ever known. He's kind, and hard-working and the one of the few guys in the precinct that has his morals in the right place. Him being gay doesn't change that."

The woman sighed, tiredness lacing her tone. "Then, pray tell, what makes you a homophobe?"

"The feeling that I get when I think about Magnus Bane sucking his fucking dick." Jace replied, the same exasperated tone he used when his sister was being obtuse. His throat closed around the words, Adam's apple bobbing violently as he brought the glass back to his lips, trying not to think about Magnus and Alec. His mind wondered if they were fucking back at the apartment at the moment. For a fleeting second, he couldn't help but wonder who would be fucking who. Shaking his head, he forced those thoughts out of his head, fingers tightening around his cold drink. "I get this tightening in my stomach, and it kind of burns, in a weird way. It's... It's like I'm going to puke."

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Maia shook her head, her tone indicating that she was done with Jonathan's antics. It was a tone he was very used to, and it made him snap his attention back at her. "Have you considered that maybe you're jealous of him, you thick fuck?"

"I'm not gay." Was his immediate response, but the idea stuck to his head. Maybe he wasn't jealous in a romantic way. He could be jealous of his best friend sharing his attention with someone else, couldn't he?

Jace wasn't sure.

"You don't have to be gay to be into men. There's a shitton of other sexualities out there, Herondale." She cocked her head, dark eyes boring into the blond's head. "Have you never been attracted to a man? At all?"

He looked up at her. The denial was at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say it. Not really, because examples started to pop into his head, even if he could make up an excuse for every single moment. The arousal he felt when showering with Raj when they were kids that one time, the hours of male masturbation porn he has seen in his life, the fleeting thought of a man's lips on his dick when he touched himself. It had always been something sexual, though, and Jace had simply convinced himself that it didn't mean anything; surely every single man had considered sex with another man at one point, but that didn't make him not straight. No, loving another man made him not straight, and Jace had never loved another man before.

That is, until Alec. The feelings he had for Alec were strong, powerful ones. He had assumed they were of brotherhood, of being partners, of working together in dangerous situations. He had heard about that many times, about how police officers had their worlds crushed when loosing a partner in action. He had always thought that that was what he felt, that he thought of Alec as part of him because, for both of them to survive, they needed to have the level of synchronicity Jace would never have with anyone else.

Now, with Alec's blowjob face printed inside of his brain, Jace was starting to think otherwise.

"I need to go." He suddenly stood up, the world spinning around him. He never got to answering Maia's question, but her smile told him everything he needed to know. Throwing a twenty dollars bill on the counter, the blond stumbled out into the cold night of New York City. He didn't know what to think about this new discovery. The first thing he did was deny it, was to tell himself that he was wrong, that he didn't have romantic feelings for Alec. There was only one person that could help him figure out, though, and Jace didn't think twice before hailing a cab, not even bothering with texting his brother to let him know he was on the way.

* * *

 

Simon Lewis' home was also Jace Herondale's childhood home, and standing in front of it at two in the morning, a little bit drunk and a little bit hyperventilating brought the blond so many memories of his teen years it made him smile for a moment, wobbly and fickle, as he made his way to the side of the house where he knew Simon's room was. He could've gone for the door, of course, but waking up Elaine was not something he was aiming for. Climbing the oak tree outside his house with the kind of familiarity only a trouble-making kid like Jace would have, he knocked on his brother's window, cussing under his breath as he noticed the light on the house across the street come to life. Living in the suburbs had been a pain in the ass, and now that he knew the nosy neighbor was probably two seconds away from calling the police, the blond man gave up on any subtly, knocking so hard against the glass window he was surprised he didn't wake the entire house.

"Jace, what in the ever loving fuck are you doing here?" Simon asked as a greeting, opening the window and stepping back to allow his brother to come through. It was a move they had done plenty of times as teenagers, whenever Jace would sneak out, and it brought him a warmth and sense of security he had been craving for.

"I'm having a life crisis and I need you to guide me through it." The blond man replied. Simon was barely a year younger than him, having abandoned college to pursue a life in music; his passions showed in the tiny room, half of the bedroom occupied by weird equipment Jace didn't exactly knew, but was familiar with nonetheless. "How did you know you were gay?" He asked, taking a seat at the edge of Simon's bed. His brother took a sharp intake of breath, and Jace knew he was staring at him, even if his own eyes were glued on the stained carpeting of the floor.

"Did Alec finally pull his head out of his ass?" The words were teasing but not unkind, the brunet sitting next to his sibling, head cocking to the side as he tried to take a better look at Jace's face. He didn't have to try very hard, because the blond's head snapped up at the question, blue and brown eyes wide as saucers.

"Did you know he was gay?"

"Yeah." Simon snorted. "A blind man could see the way he ogles you, Jace." He frowned at Jonathan's confused look, before his own brown eyes started to widen. "Oh God, you didn't know. Did he not tell you how he feels? Did I just put my foot in my mouth again?"

"I walked in on him and—— And another guy." Jace's tone is miserable, and he can't stand looking at his brother anymore, eyes falling to his hands. "I think I was jealous? I don't know it's... It's weird. I never thought about another man as mine but——" There's a long pause, as if Jace isn't courageous enough to finish the sentence. "Alec's mine. He has always been, since we met. And now, well, now he isn't."

Simon patted him on the shoulder. "I can't tell you what you feel, Jace. Only you can do that. Do you want to spend the night? Maybe a little distance will help." He smiled softly. "Mom misses having breakfast with you."

With a nod, the conversation is over. They both crawl into Simon's bed, just like they used to do when Jace would have a nightmare back when they lived together, and although Jace isn't sure what is going to happen next, he knows things will be alright eventually.

The next morning, Jonathan woke up to the smell of pancakes and light chatter on the house's first floor. Simon wasn't in bed anymore, so he assumed his mother knew he was around. There's a light pounding inside his head and his mouth feels too dry, but other than that Jace doesn't feel any sign of a hangover, and he sighs with relief at the knowledge that he hadn't been as drunk as he thought.

His phone on the bedside table blinks at a twelve percent of battery, and as he plugs it into Simon's charger, he notices the text from Alec. An unfounded dread plummets into his stomach as Jace opens it, and the message is too short to be anything too harmful. _'what happened yesterday was uncalled for, i promise it won't happen again.'_ quickly followed by. _'if it makes you feel better, i've never actually had sex on the couch'_. And Jace is almost relieved that Alec assumed that he was angry about the couch rather than the actual sex. The text is too formal, though, with no abbreviations, no emojis, nothing to show that things were normal between them. Because they weren't, and Jace couldn't hide from that. _'no problem'_ he writes back before he can think about it. _'at my mom's place, be back on monday :)'_. And that's it, the little smiley face, Jace's own peace offering. 

"Good morning, honey." Elaine offered once Jace pads into the kitchen, a rather large stack of pancakes sitting at the table. Simon is in the living room, sprawled on the floor with Clary, who gives him a small smile and a wave.

"Mom went all crazy with the food when I told her you missed it so much you had to stay over." Simon says it as casually as he can, but it's a warning. He didn't tell her the real reason for Jace to be there. Probably didn't tell her he had been drinking either, though Elaine would absolutely pick up on it as soon as Jace planted a kiss on her cheek. She frowns when he does, and he knows she can smell the alcohol in his breath. The blond forces a smile to his lips, pulling away quickly before dropping himself at the table.

"What can I say? A man can only eat so much instant ramen before he has to run back home with his tail between his legs." Jace barks out, pouring himself some coffee. Clary and Simon gravitate to the table, and he should feel awkward that his ex-girlfriend slash ex-sister is having sunday breakfast with a family that isn't hers but he doesn't. Clary belonged to the Lewis long before Jace did, and her presence there is almost comforting; she gives him a cautious look before taking her seat, and Jace knows that while Simon may have lied to their mother, he never would to Clary.

"I've been telling you to start cooking." His mother chastised him. "I even offered to pay you cooking classes! You can't go through life without knowing how to properly feed yourself." She has a soft look on her face, however, and Jace knows she's endeared, despite her concern.

"Doesn't Alec cook?" Clary, the devious woman, smiled behind her orange juice. Simon has the decency to throw his older brother an apologetic look, but his lips twist in amusement.

"He's incredible at it!" Elaine gushed, even though she has had Alec's cooking maybe twice in her life. Jace rolls his eyes at that, a fond smile stretching across his lips.

"I'm not going to make my roommate feed me." He responded with a short shake of his head. "Alec doesn't even cook for himself, only when we have people coming over."

The conversation then deviates to Clary's inability to cook for herself, because she's still not used to living alone. Instead of telling her to learn, Elaine offers a smile and an offer of free meals whenever she's in the neighborhood. The whole situation is so familiar Jace finds himself leaning back in his chair, observing his family. It's been quite a while since they had a small moment like that, because between Clary's psychotic brother coming into town, Simon recording with his band and Jace becoming a police officer, the Lewis clan has, like most families, been too busy with their own problems to care about each other.

"We should do this more frequently." Jace said, seemingly out of the blue. He notices he has interrupted whatever the conversation his family was having when they turn to him with puzzled eyes. "Hang out at mom's, I mean. I know we have dinner every so often but spending an hour a month doesn't feel the same."

"We could all have lunch next Sunday." Simon offered. "Like that we can spend the entire day around."

Elaine beamed, and Jace can't remember the last time he's seen his mother so happy. "That's a wonderful idea!" She turns to Jace. "You should bring Alec next time."

"I will." He responded, and the words feel heavy on his tongue. It's a promise, more to himself than his mother.

* * *

 

The next time Alec and Jace meet is on Monday morning, two hours before their shift starts. Alec is sitting at the kitchenette's counter, drinking coffee already in his uniform. He offers Jonathan a small smile when he notices the other man come in, an amused look as he takes in his clothes: a tight batman shirt and a distressed pair of jeans, both that so clearly belong to Simon it makes Jace's chest ache. His old clothes are back at his mother's house, in the washer, the woman refusing to let him take them home dirty.

"Good morning." The brunet said, not as awkward as Jace had expected. "How's Elaine?"

"Morning." Jace smiled, taking in Alec's beauty. It's something he has noticed before, of course, but never allowed himself to dwell on. Sitting there, in their tiny kitchen, in a police officer's uniform is the most beautiful man Jace has ever seen. His dark hair is curled and sticking out everywhere, and his smile is almost blinding. "She's fine. Wants you to come visit next Sunday. We're having a family lunch." It comes out chopped, in small, odd sentences and Jace almost hates himself for not being able to think properly. All he can see is that same image he did two days ago, Alec in bliss in their couch, but it's different now. It's different, because Magnus is nowhere in sight. Instead, Jace can so clearly picture himself taking the taller man in his mouth it baffles him that he has never realized just how in love with Alec he is before.

"Oh, that sounds neat." He nods, not as ignorant to Jace's thoughts as he leads on. Of course, Alec has no way of knowing what is going through the blond's head, but his mismatched eyes are staring at Alec so intently that he can only assume. "And... We're cool, right? About what happened?"

"Are you dating him?" Jace asked back, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. "Magnus, I mean. You two together?"

Alec shakes his head in denial.

" **Good**." The word escapes Jace's lips before he can stop himself, and he winces when Alec breathes in deeply. Not quite a gasp, but still.

"What the fuck that's supposed to mean?"

Jace doesn't answer with words. Instead, he pushes forward, crossing the small path between them, pressing his lips against Alec's. And, when his stomach recoils and heat spreads through his abdomen like wildfire, it's not a bad feeling.


End file.
